


29) "I'm so in love with you."

by PrettyBrownEyes



Series: Prompt Requests [3]
Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Crying, Declarations Of Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, GIVE ME MORE, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, cuteness, i fucking love this ship oh my god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:21:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyBrownEyes/pseuds/PrettyBrownEyes
Summary: Clay & Jeff pine over each other stupidly. My God, these two.





	29) "I'm so in love with you."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SlytherinLarry16](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinLarry16/gifts).



> I LOVED WRITING THIS OH MY GOD DID I LOVE WRITING THIS. 
> 
> If you've requested Clony, sorry that this is not that but I needed to write some Jeff. Fear not, tomorrow we'll be back to those two and I believe we're in for some Hannah/Clay action... 
> 
> Enjoy, my faithful and lovely readers!!

They’re in Clay’s room, Jeff sprawled out on the bed, and Clay leaning against it. It’s a quiet night, clear, and cool, the kind of night where you just have to open the windows, and the two of them are separately working on homework; Jeff, on English, and Clay, with peer communications. It’s almost totally silent, save for the sound of their breathing and the scratch of a pencil, until Jeff shoves his books onto the floor with a loud groan.

“Jeff, what’s wrong?” Clay drops his pencil to focus on his friend. _Friend_ . That word echoes through Clay’s mind like somebody yelling into the Grand Canyon, and burns his mouth bitterly black. _Friend_. If only they could be more.

Clay got over his sexuality crisis fairly quickly, thanks to Tony. And while he’s comfortably bisexual now, he’s not out, and he’s a little worried about what will happen if Jeff finds out. Clay likes to imagine that he’s okay with it, that the two of them will date and get married and live happily ever after, but Jeff has only ever expressed interest in girls, and Clay hates himself. Hates that he can’t be happy having Jeff as a friend. Hates that he wants more from somebody who’s already given him so much.

“I just–” Jeff begins to say something, and cuts himself off. Clay turns his head to look at him.

“What’s up, man? Talk to me,” says Clay, cringing at how much like his mother he sounds. Jeff sighs loudly.

“I– it’s nothing,” he says, reaching down to grab his books off the floor. Instinctively, Clay grabs Jeff’s wrist, keeping him from his things.

“If it’s bothering you, it’s something,” says Clay, gently. “You can talk to me.”

Jeff makes no move to pry his wrist from Clay’s grasp, and he makes no move to pull himself back onto the bed from his half-hanging-off position.

“You’re such a good fucking friend, Clay. I can't stand the thought of losing you.”

Clay frowns. “Why would you lose me? Jeff, you’re a good–”

“I’m so in love with you.”

Clay’s heart starts to beat out of his chest, and he freezes. “Care to elaborate?” he jokes, his voice shaky.

Clay Jensen never thought he’d see Jeff Atkins cry, but here he is, in Clay’s bedroom, quiet tears rolling down his cheeks and leaving wet tracks as the roll down his face, dripping off that beautiful jawline. “I’m in love with you Clay,” he says, sadly. “I’m sorry.”

Clay shakes himself from his stupor. “Why are you sorry?”

Jeff looks at Clay like he’s got six heads. “What do you mean, ‘why’, you’re not even gay–”

“Jeff.” Clay interrupts him quietly. “I’m not gay, you’re right. But I’m bi. And I’ve been pining after you for months.”

Jeff looks at him, an incredulous look on his face. “Clay, I don’t want your pity– look, I should probably just go.”

Jeff throws his stuff into his backpack, almost running out of Clay’s bedroom. “Jeff, come back–” but the taller boy is already gone.

Clay sighs. That was the opposite of how he envisioned this happening. He gets up slowly, and walks cautiously down the stairs. Jeff isn’t here anymore, so he exits out the front door. He’s not sure what he thought he was going to find, or even what he wanted to, but it was definitely not this. Jeff’s car is parked directly in front of Clay’s house, and though he can’t hear it, Clay can see that Jeff is crying, sobbing– actually, no. Weeping would be the better word. He’s clearly in deep emotional pain, and so Clay does the only thing he can think to do: get in the car.

Clay opens the passenger-side door of the SUV, and climbs in. Jeff attempts to quiet his sobs, and only succeeds in making them marginally softer as tears continuously stream down his face.

“Get out, Clay,” he manages to choke out.

“I’m not leaving,” says Clay. “Either we sit here till you’re done, or we could go back upstairs, or we could go somewhere else. But I’m not leaving you until we talk about this.”

Jeff sniffles and wipes his eyes with his palms. Tears still bubble from his eyes, but his sobs have quieted, and with shaky hands he puts the key into the ignition, and peels away from the curb.

Jeff lives in a nice house about a mile from Clay. They pull into the driveway and sit in a heavy silence for longer than Clay thinks is necessary. “Should we go in?” he says, looking straight ahead.

“I guess,” Jeff croaks out.

The two enter through the garage, and Jeff stops in the kitchen, taking a water bottle from the fridge and a tissue from the box on the counter. Clay follows him silently through the house, up the stairs and into Jeff’s bedroom, where Jeff collapses onto the bed, burying his face in a pillow. Clay sits on the end of the bed, fingers playing with the knitted blanket that lies across it.

“We should probably talk,” says Clay.

Jeff snorts. “You think?”

Clay takes a deep breath. “Well, let’s start with when you realized you had feelings for me.”

Jeff pushes himself up to sit next to Clay on the bed. He blows his nose, and takes a sip of water. “I think– it must have been around the time you started tutoring me,” he says. “When I got that first C. You were so proud of me, you know? And it felt so good. And you were so kind,” he says, eyes welling up again. “You were so nice to me. You didn’t treat me differently for not being as smart as you. And I liked that.

“Then you started hanging out with Tony all the time. And it really fucking hurt. And I think that’s when I knew. That there was no way my heart thought that we were just friends.”

Clay stays silent for a few beats. “Are you jealous of my relationship with Tony?”

Jeff nods, solemn. “He told me he was gay. And then he started hanging out with you, giving you rides and stuff. And when I asked if you two were dating, he said you were straight. And I just– it sucked.”

Clay wrinkles his eyebrows. “Wait, when did you ask Tony if we were dating?”

Jeff frowns. “I don’t know, maybe two months ago. Why?”

Clay can’t help but huff out a little laugh at that. “That was in the middle of my sexuality crisis,” he says. “The one that started because of you.” Jeff looks at him, confused. “I mean, you were hot, and sweet, and so fucking nice. And God, your fucking lips. Do you know how much self-control it took to not kiss you everytime I tutored you?”

“You’re joking.”

Clay shakes his head vigorously. “I am not. And I thought something was wrong with me, at first,” he says. “And then I talked to Tony, and we... well, we hooked up. And I realized that as much fun as it is to kiss girls, kissing boys is just as good.” He looks up at Jeff. “If not better.”

Jeff looks at Clay like he doesn’t believe a thing that’s coming out of his mouth. “So you’re saying...” Jeff trails off. “If I were to kiss you right now. You wouldn’t shove me off?”

Clay leans in as he speaks. “Nope. I’d kiss back, enjoy it. Maybe put my tongue in your mouth.” He whispers the last words millimeters from Jeff’s lips, allowing him to feel Clay’s breath as he talks.

Clay leans in first, crushing his lips to Jeff’s. Clay nips at Jeff’s lips, licks them open until Jeff allows Clay to massage their tongues together.

Clay wishes that he didn’t need to breathe, but he does, and so he gently pulls away from Jeff. “See?” he says, his hand on Jeff’s thigh.

Jeff looks at him, flushed and breathless. “Can we do that again?” he asks.

Clay gently pushes him back onto the bed, straddling him, and leans down again. The kiss is fiery, hot, and Jeff lets out a moan as Clay rolls his hips down. Clay isn’t sure where all of his newfound confidence came from, but he’s kind of liking it.

Clay pulls away from the kiss and stills his body on top of Jeff’s, cradling Jeff’s face in a palm. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks softly. “We could have been doing this for so much longer.”

Clay slinks down off of Jeff’s chest to curl into his side, head pillowed on Jeff’s right pectoral. “I don’t know,” says Jeff. “I didn’t think you liked guys, and even if you did, why would you like me?”

Clay reaches over and grabs Jeff’s hand. “Why wouldn’t I?” he says, eyes honest. “How couldn’t I?”

He leans upwards, again capturing Jeff’s lips in a sweet kiss. “I love you,” he says.

Jeff’s smile shines brighter than the fucking sun. “Does this– I mean– will you be my boyfriend?” Jeff’s voice turns shy.

Clay smiles, planting a kiss on Jeff’s cheek. “I’m so in love with you. Yes.”


End file.
